Faux Moschino and Graduate Glamourama

 Helllllloooooo Fairies!

It's been a lickle while since my last blog because this July has been more jam-packed than the Tiptree Jam Factory- regional jam joke for my Essex Girls, Guys, and Theys (although actually Tiptree Jam is a household name and the crowning jewel of any toast-laden breakfast table worth its salted butter, so perhaps it's a universal jam joke).* I hope you dear readers have had a strawberry sweet July thus far.

Anyone for Blair resignation jam?

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The first outfit is wot I wore for a classy meal out by the mariner in Southampton with my oldest university pals at the start of June to belatedly celebrate our 2021 graduation.

 It reminds me of something one of the Spice Girls, probably Posh, would wear in the part of the Spice World movie where they train like soldiers, which is the only part I vaguely remember from watching it as a twinkly-eyed kiddywink.

Spice up your life!

Also, what is it with girlbands and military aesthetics? Is it a sexy symptom of the military-industrial complex? Or do camo and khakis just look killah? Did you know the bikini is named after a place called Bikini where an atom bomb was tested in 1946 because of its supposedly explosive effect? Yaaas, slay?!?!?

Destiny's Child

Not a girl band per say, but Taylor Swift's 'squad' in the Bad Blood music video, 2014.

Cheryl Cole fighting for love. Cheryl even sang to the troops in Afghanistan in 2011, posing with guns and taking part in a mock raid for the cameras, which is a dystopian, distasteful showbiz spectacle if there ever was one. Shock and awe: how Cheryl Cole gave the British army the X Factor

Enough digression! The Dolce & Gabbana cargo corset top is my best ever charity shop find- it was only £3 from Sue Ryder! Unbelievabubble. I wore it with the hardest working second-hand skirt in my wardrobe, and I love the silhouette of the fitted corset and the flared skirt. The charity shop Guess bag ferried about my wares, the charity shop sunnies kept the June evening glare out my eyes, and the mixture of gold and silver toned jewellery (all secondhand except earrings) added a luxe touch.

We had a wonderful meal at Banana Wharf, the waterside restaurant, then went back to my friends' house to drink woowoo which we made in a cauldron like a cosmopolitan witch's brew. We even went to Jesters, the sticky smelly student nightclub which I have a strong aversion to, for old times' sake- although it wasn't "for old times' sake" for my friend Flo, a regular in the court of Jesters (Flo, you're a menace).

My next outfit has a similar colour palette and pays homage to a Moschino A/W 2021 outfit worn by And Just Like That's Mom Boss extraordinaire, Lisa Todd-Wexley (a.k.a. LTW).

 LTW's outfit is from Moschino's A/W 2021 collection, and I adore the safari jacket with hair and beauty utilities peeking out the pocket which is cheekily called 'The Safari Essentials' kit- talk about Savannah Eleganza! It's the perfect outfit for the kind of person who wants to yassify the natural world and finds themselves looking at a giraffe and thinking it could do with a slick of lip gloss.

yassified giraffe 

As I don't have a Moschino budget and I avoid buying new clothes, I did a DIY 'Safari Essentials' look by filling up the pockets of this charity shop utility vest with  hair and beauty bits n bobs. I wore it with a tartan charity shop skirt, a cute camouflage charity shop bag, and my £8.99 British Heart Foundation leather boots. While the boots aren't quite LTW's thigh highs, they do look cute and rather '60s with the mini skirt- these boots are made for walking (although if I'm being pedantic, they're a bit snug for walking all day). 

What's in your bag, Angelos?

I didn't wear this outfit for anything in particular, and didn't get up to much while I was wearing it. All dressed up with nowhere to go, baby <3 The outfit reference is relatively niche and the look doesn't scream camp safari as much as LTW's, so I'm aware I might just look like a hairdresser. Either way, it's FUN! Sidenote: if I opened a salon, I'd call it Trimpeccable. 

This is how we'd dry tresses at Trimpecabble Salon.

This next outfit is a classic example of all dressed up with SOMEWHERE to go, with that somewhere being somewhere very special... a wedding in Oxfordshire! My gawjus uni friends Esme and Luke got married this July and 'twas a v v special day- congratulations and jubilations both <333 They had the service at a pretty old church in Witney and the reception at a rustic barn afterwards where tasty veggie canapés were ten a penny. 

I didn't have time to take any outfit pics before heading to the wedding, so enjoy this outfit vid which I sent to my friends instead (if it works, lol).

I wore a red polka dot ooh la la ra-ra dress which I recently acquired from a charity shop for £5.99 (originally from H&M). The lady working in the charity shop smiled and told me she used to have one just like it in the '80s- I love such exchanges.

here's a pic I took of the dress trying it on another day

The wedding was on a Sunday, and I slightly sunburned one of my arms the Saturday before by sitting out in a meadow in Oxford with my boyfriend and two pals, so I wore the embellished Joe Browns burlap jacket (charity shop, about £10) all day at the wedding to keep my delicate skin out of the 30 degree sun- it was sweaty, but sun safety comes first, my friends (if only I'd been so sun savvy the day before...).

a photo of the snazzy jacket from a previous blog

I wore my secondhand eBay Clarks saddle shoe brogues (about £5), some white retro sunglasses my boyfriend's friend gifted him on Saturday, some red lippy, eye glitter, and a secondhand eBay rainbow rhinestone beaded crucifix necklace.

How great thou art <3 

The final outfit for this blog is what I wore for my BA graduation, so it's another all dressed up with somewhere to go outfit... all dressed up with somewhere over the rainbow to go...

I'd decided to go for a vaguely Old Hollywood vibe a la Lana Del Rey with my grad outfit because I love the glamourama, mama. I bought the green velvet halterneck dress secondhand from eBay for £14, and I love the flattering ruching and the Y2K hankerchief hem. I've had the dress since winter last year and was saving it for graduation, so now it's been unleashed I'm looking forwards to wearing it again and again and again (to rewear is to care, to have flair, and be debonair, reweary fairies).

I bought these ruby red platform heels brand new as a treat- I did look for secondhand red heels online for a good few weeks before buying them, but I didn't take a shine to any as much as these. They're by a brand called Funtasma which sells lots of costumey shoes, and I bought them from a website called Taboo Boutique.

The OG ruby slippers... Kim Kardashian probably has her eyes on them - it's the next logical step after she controversially wore that iconic Marilyn naked dress. 

The thick platform and chunky heel meant they were actually very comfortable to walk/click my heels in, although my feet were stained red by the dye which must have seeped out. Tangentially related sidetone: Salman Rushdie wrote a book about how The Wizard of Oz was his first literary influence- how gloriously unexpected is that? It's on my ever-sprawling reading list. 

I accessorised with a triple strand faux pearl necklace from a charity shop, my mum's hand-me-down drop faux pearl earrings, golden curls, red glittery nails, red lippy, and vaguely vintage makeup with  anachronistic under eye jewels (let's get pretentious and call it postmodern Old Hollywood, daaaaarling!).

clutching at my faux pearls

The maquillage shown in black and white for Old Hollywood film noir mystique purposes... while I do love the glamour, Hollywood and the star system treated women callously and perpetuated Eurocentric beauty standards... if I were an actress back then, they definitely would've made me get a nose job.

I used my Y2K Guess handbag which, with the ruby glittery heels, gave the look an Anna Nicole-Smith edge. Anna Nicole-Smith was pretty much a postmodern Marilyn, and she idolised the golden age of Hollywood's silver screen queen, as you can see from these photographs. The celebrity star system of the nineties and noughties was just as callous, and the tabloid press were cruel to Anna throughout her fame, but she's remembered posthumously as a sweetheart and a style icon- see here: 7 of Anna Nicole Smith's most iconic outfits.

An exquisite tribute to Marilyn in The Seven Year Itch

mwah!

Anna showing off her PETA campaign.

And the final addition to the graduation outfit was, of course, the grad garb. I wore the mortar board with a jaunty tilt and sweated profusely in the polyester robes- thank goodness for perfume and antiperspirant... nobody wants to graduate with a B.O. degree!

Me, Trish, Fiona, and Meg- the ladies have brains and beauty a-plenty.

I had a superb day with my parents, friends, and familiar faces- congratz to everyone who graduated, you're all epic <3 I loved doing an English degree and learning from geniuses- I would read books all day every day if I could #womanofletters. Appaz C.S. Lewis once said 'you can never get a cup of tea large enough to suit me', which tells you he lived in a time before those gargantuan Sports Direct mugs you used to get free with an order.

Me, Tarzi, and Bod (Tara and Boyd), my mother and father <3

Thank you soooooo much for reading dear fairies, enjoy the summer, slather on suncream, and enjoy a 99 ice cream before all the flakes run out. I had pretty bad climate anxiety reading all about the hottest days on record we just had, but it's slightly comforting knowing I'm doing my bit to an extent by shopping secondhand and being a veggie; I know some people do more for the planet and some do less, but we shouldn't put too much emphasis on individual responsibility anywazzas because the corporations, companies, and governments that do the lion's share of the polluting have the most power and responsibility, unfortunately. Gotta hope things get greener pronto. 

I'll be pretty busy with my MA creative writing dissertation (fun!) and applying for jobs (not so fun! I hate writing covering letters so much), so there might not be another blog for a month or so.

Peace out, and merci beaucoup

Love from

Cerys 

x x x x x x x x 

* My boyfriend from Oxford and his friend both had never heard of Tiptree Jam when I asked them while writing this- disturbing.